Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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