I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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