i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
