I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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