Yo dont text me then not text me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
