But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
