Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
