I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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