I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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