i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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