Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
