If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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