I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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