u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
