How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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