Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
