We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
