My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
