Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
