i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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