you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
