im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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