ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
