You're so nebulous sometimes
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
