I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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