I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
