I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
