wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
