As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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