Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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