there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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