I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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