im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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