the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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