I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
