I'm jealous of your bromance
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
