no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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