He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
