come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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