And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
