Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
