this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
