The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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