I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish you could order shots online.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
