Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
