If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
