think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
