New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
