i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
