The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
