you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
