who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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